HappilyEverTucker: January 2014

I wrote out Carrington's birth story mostly because I was desperate to remember the little details of the best day of our lives ~ each little moment and feeling. Also because when I was pregnant (and even before!), I loved reading other birth stories. There's nothing more raw, emotional, or beautiful than the birth of a child. So here we go (bear with me, it's long!)...

Carrington Elle Tucker was born at 10:26am on Friday, November 29^th, 2013. She weighed 7 pounds, 12 ounces, and was 21 inches long.

The story of Carrington’s actual birth day should be prefaced with a few details. First, my pregnancy was one of the most beautiful, joyful times of my life. Those ten months were filled with such happiness, anticipation, support, and love. I never got morning sickness, terrible cramps, horrible mood swings, or really any of the negative “side effects” of pregnancy (besides gestational diabetes – but even that went smoothly enough!). I loved my body, I felt energetic most of the time, and I adored seeing how happy our sweet baby made our friends and family before they had even met her.

I forget which appointment it was that we first found out that “C” (as we called her during pregnancy in order to keep her name a surprise) was in the breech position. It was early on enough that I (and everyone else) assumed she would flip around long before her due date. Easy enough, right? Even my prenatal yoga teacher reassured me: “you have plenty of time!” And so we waited. And waited. And at each appointment, C was still breech. At our weekly appointments toward the end of the pregnancy, the doctor would anxiously roll an ultrasound machine in and would optimistically place the wand near the bottom of my belly, hoping to see a head. But instead, each week we saw feet. But of course, I knew that. I felt little kicks down by my pelvis and a big ol’ head pressing into my ribs. It was obvious that C was very comfortable where she was. Around weeks 36-37, we had a decision to make: move forward with an “ECV” procedure, which would attempt to turn C around in my belly using external force, or schedule a C-section. Steve and I had countless discussions, made pro and con lists, consulted every page on the internet that had information on both procedures, consulted people who had been in the same position, talked with family and friends... we really tossed and turned over which direction to go. But all along, something inside me just didn’t feel comfortable with the ECV. I didn’t like the idea of people pushing my tiny baby forcefully around into a position that she obviously wasn’t naturally turning in (stubborn girl J). I did realize that, should the ECV work, we would have a chance at a “natural,” vaginal delivery, and that would be wonderful. But it came down to the fact that the ECV procedure had (slight) risks for my baby, and the C-section really didn’t. Something in my heart told me that if this procedure could risk the health of my full-term baby at all, it wasn’t worth it to me. It was a tough and personal decision, but in the end, we cancelled the appointment for the ECV and kept the appointment for our scheduled C-section: we would be welcoming our little girl into the world on November 29^th, 2013… the day after Thanksgiving (Black Friday – she’ll be a true born shopper!).

The day before the C-section, Thanksgiving Day, we traveled home to Lancaster to spend it with our families. I was absolutely huge, but so very excited to spend my favorite holiday with my favorite people. The day flew by and there was much talk about what the next day would bring… it felt like Christmas Eve (x1000)! That evening, as Steve and I were saying our goodbyes before we headed back to New Jersey to prepare for the next day, I got a little emotional. I knew that I was headed into a major surgery the next morning, and although it’s very routine and very safe, it’s still surgery and was a little scary. I also knew our lives were about to change forever. That’s a pretty indescribable feeling.

My cousin Gina and me on Thanksgiving...the night before D-Day! Woah belly!

We both tried to sleep that night, but I’m not sure how much actual sleep either of us got. Before we knew it, our alarms were going off, and it was the big day. It was still dark outside as we got our bags together and made sure Layla was situated. We took a couple of final pictures of our pile of overnight bags, diaper bags, boppy, etc. before heading out the door.

When we arrived at the hospital, we parked in the parking lot that we had visited so frequently during the end of my pregnancy (thanks to frequent ultrasounds because of the gestational diabetes) – only this time, we knew we would be leaving as a family of three. We took a couple of final pre-baby pictures and made our way into the hospital, to the OB triage area. When we walked up to the desk, the woman asked “how may I help you?” Not knowing how else to reply, I said, “We’re here to have a baby!” :) We all had a laugh at how casual the whole thing seemed. Oh, no big deal, we’re just here to deliver a life, that’s all!

Our last picture as "just the two of us"

Heading into the OB triage!

After checking in and filling out the requisite paperwork, a nurse led Steve and I up to the pre-op prep room. I changed into a gown and was hooked up to monitors that would monitor both the baby and me. It turned out I was having mild contractions! Who knew? I also was hooked up to an IV. I asked Steve to reach into my purse and find a card with his name on it. I had tucked away a special “daddy” card that I had hoped to give to him before our babe arrived. We tried to watch a little TV, talked, laughed, and texted with our family who was already on their way to the hospital. The anesthesiologist came in to talk with us, as did a resident doctor and a couple of nurses. I still wondered who the doctor would be who would be performing the surgery. Steve and I both had hoped for Dr. Cortese. We liked him from the first time we met him, and when he told us at an earlier appointment that he was scheduled to be performing C-sections on Black Friday, we felt like it was meant to be. He made us feel comfortable. Wouldn’t you know… all of the sudden, Dr. Cortese appeared in our prep room and let us know he would be the one doing the C-section! I almost cried from happiness. Steve and I were thrilled. I’d say we were in the prep room for about an hour and a half or so before they let us know that it was time.

Texting friends and family to let them know it was time to have a baby. :)

They rolled me down the hall to the operating room, and had Steve (dressed in scrubs, he looked very official!) wait outside while I got ready. When they rolled me into the operating room and began to prepare me for the spinal, it was the first time I felt a little scared. It was nerve wracking to be sitting in the middle of a big, bright, cold room without Steve by my side. Everyone was really great, though, and they got the spinal going and made sure I was properly numb. They had me lay down on the operating table and lightly tied my hands to my sides. They put up the curtain while they prepped my belly, and that’s when Steve came in and sat by my side. As soon as he was next to me again, I felt tears start to roll down my cheeks. I was so glad he was there. I just kept telling myself that if my grandma could be so brave (as she had been in the hospital only a few weeks back), then I could be too. I felt like she gave me the strength and determination I needed.

In a matter of minutes, the surgery had begun and I could feel slight pressure, pushing, and pulling. The surgery itself probably lasted only 15 minutes or so. I could hear Dr. Cortese talking with the resident who was helping him, describing (but not in too much detail!) what he was doing. Steve was talking to me, but I don’t really remember what he was saying. All I kept thinking was that our daughter was about to be born. Again, indescribable anticipation. Suddenly, they told Steve that he could look if he wanted to. He told me that Carrington’s butt was out and described to me what was happening as it happened. “Her head is almost out! I can see her hair!” Finally, the room seemed to go silent, and all I remember hearing was the anesthesiologist yell:

“10:26!”

Welcome to the world!

And I knew she had arrived. Steve confirmed, “She’s here, Jen!” and I heard her cry. He went to join her as the doctors cleaned her off and immediately snapped a few pictures and took a short video of her first moments. He immediately reported back to me that she had my ears and how cute she was. I kept asking him to count her fingers and her toes, and to make sure she was okay – we laugh now about how many times I asked him to count her fingers and toes! Thanks to the medication and nerves, I guess. :)

One of the nurses brought her over to us and placed her in Steve’s arms. I remember thinking, “I can’t believe she’s here. I can’t believe he’s holding our daughter.” I gave her kisses on her cheek. Before long, though, it was time for me to be stitched back up and Steve went to join Carrington in the recovery room where she was weighed and measured. Her apgars were 9’s. As they stitched me back up, they talked about their Thanksgivings and Dr. Cortese described how he had grilled their turkey. I figured all must be going according to plan if they could be so casual as to discuss their Thanksgiving dinners!

When I was finished, they lifted me onto a rolling bed (a strange sensation when you can’t feel anything!) and wheeled me into the recovery room to join Steve and the baby. They gave her to me to hold and try to breastfeed. She latched on and we snuggled, skin to skin, while Steve ran out quickly to let our families know that we were all okay, and that our Carrington had arrived!